So, you decided to be you, or at least find out who you are, and you are hopefully going to be you on purpose.
After we figure out who we are, and decide to be that on purpose. We have a new problem. Who are we when we are in community with others. (Note to the reader: having been an introvert and a general homebody all my life. I am not the natural life of the party. People don’t swarm me because I am soooo cool. But I have figured a little bit out about being with other humans 🙂 )
The community that you choose will have an influence on what you think about, value, and do with your time on earth. It is that simple. Pick the right one. Look at yourself and determine your values, then approach the group. The group could be; church goers, writers group, artist collective, business meet up, country club, or an improv troupe. What matters is you know yourself and your values first. That is the only way not to get swept up in living someone else’s plan to make you a cog in their dream machine.
Anyway, if you have different values, you will have a hard time. It’s not worth it.
Also realize every group has banded together to meet some kind of end, even if it is self improvement, or fun. Finding your group will be a challenge that is no reason to shrink back from it. Instead be you, and give it a shot, until you find a place you belong.
Then do two things. First be of service. I hate showing up to a party or an event and not having something to do, that’s me, but you get to know people when you start to help out. Second, make it a point to meet people continually. Those two things alone will over time make you feel like you are part of the group, because you will be. (This is the most important part)
Finally, The group, your tribe, your fellow pirates on this adventure of life, are not your friends.
You didn’t see that coming.
Some may become your friends. But the truth is friends don’t come with an agenda. They want one thing from you, they want to enjoy your company and hang out. You, that you we have been talking about, is valuable to them and worth spending time with. Most people have few close friends and that is okay. Not everyone needs to be your bestie. But you do need to have some close friends you can tell anything to. It is good for your soul and loosens the grip of any group to have power over you. Friends help you be more of who you are and they help you be free.
Another side note: friends don’t have to have the same interests as you to be friends. My don’t even read this blog. 😉